re-building trust after failure

It is very hard to rebuild trust in a relationship after you have failed. Forgiveness is vital. The offended person has to be able to forgive the offender. The offender has to promise not to reoffend and must make sure that they don't. The offender must do everything possible to rebuild the relationship with the offended. But it is the offended person who has been hurt and wounded. Even when we say we are sorry, it doesn't take away the wound which needs time to heal. If I stabbed you causing a wound, I might say I am very sorry and that I will never do it again, but the other person is still wounded and in pain. Saying sorry doesn't take away the pain. The wound must be given time to heal. Forgiveness is vital for successful healing. We find the definition of forgiveness in the Bible. God forgives sinners. Why? Because the penalty for their sins has been fully paid. When Jesus Christ suffered and died on the cross, He paid God's full penalty for our sins. God can't hold our sins against us, because the penalty has been paid. So He forgives us, which means that He relates to us as though we were perfectly righteous and had never sinned against Him. For us as people therefore, forgiveness means relating to each other again as though the bad thing had never happened. But it also involves repentance on the part of the offender, which means that he or she will promise never to do it again, and will also change their life so that it doesn't happen again. We can't use God's forgiveness as a licence to go out and sin against Him again. So in our relationships, if we have offended, we must promise to change permanently and then must set about doing something to make sure that we do change. Unfortunately, to build new trust, the offended person must try trusting the offender again to see if he or she has changed. If they have then that is good. If they haven't, then that shows they weren't genuine.